Little Thoughts

Being Known
October 20, 2012, 7:30 pm
Filed under: Thoughts for the day

I worry that I get lazy. When someone seems close to me, when they know so much about me that I start to feel comfortable and begin to be known, I am satisfied. That is good enough. I close off the last sacred details.

You know those long letters/emails/phone chats you have with people you haven’t seen in forever? Feels like you can express and go on at length because they’ve got so much they don’t know about you and your life, so different from their own. Yes?

Facts: I have been up to this; new job; new girl; trip I took a couple months back. You parse through a multitude of things, because there is so much easy factual information to give them. All this sharing generates this feeling of closeness that opening up brings.

There is an infinity inside my brain every day, I travel and change and ponder and go back and forth every day. But it would be weird to hash that out with people I saw yesterday. Why? Because ostensibly we’re close. Really we can get so mentally far apart in the span of a few hours, because everything-all-of-the-time. But it’s that OSTENSIBLY close. That makes me comfortable enough to not need to be open and honest every day.

Closing off to a person close to you over the little details makes them seem farther away than the far away person who you can open up to about nothing special.