Little Thoughts

Touring Turing Turning Tuning
March 28, 2012, 12:19 am
Filed under: Thoughts for the day

I’ve been so mixed up these past couple of years. Working so hard for the band, singularly focused, and at the same time all these new opportunities and experiences. But I got to this point where I am so worried about what comes next. An image of yourself that you feel the need to maintain. A success that you wonder if you will duplicate.

I realized that there are these cycles. You are unhappy, so you open your brain up, re-evaluate, maybe change your world view or accept everything in an attempt to find something stable and better to hold onto. Creating. Exploring. Finding what fits. Then once you catch that glimpse of success or happiness, wanting to hold onto it closes you down, trying to put a formula around what got you to be happy, that formula drying up that rich openness you had in the searching for an attempt at stability.

But there’s nothing like that purity in the openness. Even if it means being less stable, more likely to fail. I keep reminding myself of that these days.